Monday, April 4, 2016

Please Turn Back Time for Me

I had no time to look sideways. I look straight ahead so that I wouldn’t fall; I only looked ahead. I thought I had lived harder than anyone else around me, but where did it all go wrong?” – Hong Seol

When I write, it means I was thinking, and yeah, a while ago. After reading the manhwa ‘Cheese in The Trap’ which I found very amusing and addicting, I came across the part where they were given group assignment but it ended up with Seol doing all the works and their group got a D. The teacher told her, “when your group refuses to cooperate, you gave up on them right away and decided to do all the work by yourself, because it’s easier”.
Frankly, I would agree with the statement. As currently I’m doing a group project, it’s very stressful and tiring. I came up with something, well it’s my part so shouldn’t I do it my way? But it’s hard when others are not satisfied by my work. But the worst part is, they don’t trust you.
I categorize my classmates in three; the top students (who got the highest CGPA and all), the middle (who got slightly lower marks) and the bottom (who apparently doesn’t score well). I don’t know in which category others fit me in, but for myself, I think I’m in the third one. The worst about being in the bottom is that, they don’t trust you. That’s what happened to me. I was told to do certain part but that person just gave something she thought was perfect and asked me to copy it. What do you take me for? I spent some times searching for it myself and it’s my part, why do I have to do just because you think it’s right? They’re like that, bossing around as if I’m not capable enough. At least that’s how I feel. And I hate that.

I don’t know what went wrong, and I don’t know how to get up back. The battle has been endless for me. I know, everyone is having a hard time, everyone is struggling. I just have to keep going; but how long? How much further? I’m getting tired. But as long as I haven’t given up, it means I haven’t reach my limit yet. So I’m just going to fight harder, trying to find myself back, and be on the place I used to be again, I hope.